David Lam's Home Page

daemon
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/ Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a      \
| light bulb? A: Whereas the party of the first     |
| part, also known as "Lawyer", and the party of    |
| the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do   |
| hereby and forthwith agree to a transaction       |
| wherein the party of the second part shall be     |
| removed from the current position as a result of  |
| failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, |
| i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise    |
| illumination of the area ranging from the front   |
| (north) door, through the entryway, terminating   |
| at an area just inside the primary living area,   |
| demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any    |
| spillover illumination being at the option of the |
| party of the second part and not required by the  |
| aforementioned agreement between the parties.     |
|                                                   |
| The aforementioned removal transaction shall      |
| include, but not be limited to, the following.    |
| The party of the first part shall, with or        |
| without elevation at his option, by means of a    |
| chair, stepstool, ladder or any other means of    |
| elevation, grasp the party of the second part and |
| rotate the party of the second part in a          |
| counter-clockwise direction, this point being     |
| tendered non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point    |
| where the party of the second part becomes fully  |
| detached from the receptacle, the party of the    |
| first part shall have the option of disposing of  |
| the party of the second part in a manner          |
| consistent with all relevant and applicable       |
| local, state and federal statutes. Once           |
| separation and disposal have been achieved, the   |
| party of the first part shall have the option of  |
| beginning installation. Aforesaid installation    |
| shall occur in a manner consistent with the       |
| reverse of the procedures described in step one   |
| of this self-same document, being careful to note |
| that the rotation should occur in a clockwise     |
| direction, this point also being non-negotiable.  |
| The above described steps may be performed, at    |
| the option of the party of the first part, by any |
| or all agents authorized by him, the objective    |
| being to produce the most possible revenue for    |
\ the Partnership.                                  /
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